Friday, August 20, 2010

Is this how you break up with a friend?

We're in our 20s. I have feelings for her, but she doesn't feel the same way. Problem is, we're very close friends. We've tried keeping the friendship because it is important to us, but we know how turbulent it is, and we try to prop each other up. She'll tell me constantly how much I mean to her, and that there's no one out there like me, and I do the same; but we've been on so many breaks; it's getting difficult. We're on a break right now actually, and I know she's been crying about it.





I guess it's time to have the serious talk; I want to tell her exactly what I am feeling, but I am not sure it's a good idea. I want to tell her that I still do care about her, that no one could replace the times we've had. And that, if I could go back a year to when we first met; that I would tell my past self to go talk to you; because even though there were so many arguments, and hurt; it was worth it, because she's one in a million, and I wouldn't meet someone like her again. But some people come and go in life, and it's just time for us to both leave. I've always tried to be honest with her, do you think she'll hate this? Or appreciate that I am trying to leave on good terms, so it won't be weird if I run into her again?Is this how you break up with a friend?
Yes she will hate this.


If she is so great, then why stop being friends.


Just because life changes, does not mean you have to no longer speak to people.


You should just tell her that you will no longer be able to see each other as much as before, but still want to be a part of her life, though it will not be as intense or as often as before.

My exboyfriends friend emailed me after our break up. Should I reply or ignore?

we broke up and his friend just sent me a message saying he noticed im single now and asked how my ex is doing.. hes never talked to me before through email. im pretty much done with my ex and dont care to keep any contact. should i respond? as a friend or straight to the point of his questions? or not at all?My exboyfriends friend emailed me after our break up. Should I reply or ignore?
I would respond just to be polite. I mean, as you said, he didn't do anything wrong. To the answers that said he may like you, that may very well be true, but it's not for certain from what you wrote here. I mean, when I broke up with my ex, I had several people contacting me, noticing I was single, basically wondering what was up and how I was doing. It may just be that, or it may be something more. I would politely respond and answer any questions that you feel are appropriate. I wouldn't be rude to him, he may just be trying to be nice. Or if he does like you, then let him down easy.My exboyfriends friend emailed me after our break up. Should I reply or ignore?
He is just trying to hit on you now that you are single. That is not a good idea, since your ex is his friend. You will only cause problems and you ex will probably accuse you of cheating with him before you split. You are too vulnerable right now to be approached by this guy. He knows you are vulnerable, so his motives should be suspect!!
its just an e-mail. Respond straight forwardly with your point getting acorss. No small talk. Hope this helps :) and dont show signs of being ';interested'; in him, maybe thats where hes trying to get at, or maybe he is sincerly sorry and asks how your doing. Either way don't show off that your upset. make it clear you moved on.


Good day xoxo
I can't answer if you should email him or not but I can tell you if you answer to get back at your ex that is wrong. If you email him to see whats up and end up likening him no biggy that is for the two friends to fight out.





Peace
I'd personally go straight to the point but politely answer everything, this way you don't burn any future bridges and it's hard for the ex to talk about what a bi-atch you are and blah blah.
Girl.. depends. If the message is mean, don't reply. Its a low class of fighting. If its like all nice and like they tried to comfort you, then hit reply and say ';tnx';
hmm if you dont care about your ex at all anymore, then why not reply?.... if you still care about his feelings, then i'd say be careful if you decide to write back cause it could get back to your ex
Respond if you want but be cautious of this guys intentions. Sounds a little sketchy to me, but I'm sure you already knew this.
I would cut all ties just pretend that you did not get it. To reply would be playing with fire... plus your ex most likely set it up.
I would never date an ex's friend. That's me though. Of course be friends with him but just tell him your not interested.
I suspect this guy wants to date you. If you want to date him, respond. If not, don't.
I think this friend is interested in you.
It all depends on how you feel towards him. Do you want to make it up with him? If you do, call him.;-)
IGNORE dont be stupid. also...your ex could be setting you up.. good luck =}
Block his friend...smells fishy to me....
as a friend, dont be a dick cmon
maybe he wants to hook up with you; if you like him as a friend you could keep contact but if you don't really care about him one way or the other just ignore any of his texts

Help me break up with a friend!?

I am totally lost on what to do, so I am turning to this ';community'; for some advice. I have a friend who I have known for 8 years (we are in our 30s), but I no longer have any interest in keeping the friendship up--for many different reasons that would take me too long to explain.


I am not the kind of person who could just tell her what is going on, why I don't want to talk to her anymore, etc. because I don't want to hurt her feelings--she is extremely sensitive and takes everything very hard. I know that if I said anything negative to her at all, it would be discussed with her husband for months to come and she would obsess over it, so I have to be very careful about what I say and how I say it.


I should also mention that she only has 2 friends, myself and a neighbor of hers (no joke) and I know that it would completely devastate her if I dropped her with no explanation. I don't know if she knows how fed up I am with her.


Any ideas on how to accomplish this?Help me break up with a friend!?
its always hard to to end a fading friendship. i know exactly what you mean. sometimes one thing leads to another and you find yourself completely fed up with a friend and at that point it is time to end the friendship because if you don't its going to put a strain on your life and it just adds extra stress that you just don't need. i would suggest confronting her as hard as it may be. i would just say we've been through a lot and having you as a friend was an amazing part of my life and i would never regret that but i feel like soem things have happened that you and i both know and things just arent the same. i just feel like at this point in my life i can't handle this type of friendship. i think i honestly just need some space because a lot of things are going on in my life right now. Although i feel as though it would be better if we werent friends for a while, i just want you to know that if you ever truly need me im only a phone call away. thanks for everything and i definately dont want to upset you. i know you will make a great best friend to someone else and if you branch out good things will come to you.





i know this is hard but i wish the best of luck to you!Help me break up with a friend!?
Well, in this situation i think it is best to let her know what's going on. It's sort of rude to just not say anything and pretty inevitable that she'll come back because she's a good friend. I understand that she is sensitive. but if you have something to talk about with her it is best to do it up front. i'm not saying she'll take it fine, she might even take it badly. but the point is that you got your point out and she has a chance to either understand or just ignore it and wallow in self pity. She might need some cool off time when you are done talking to her but ultimately, you'll be doing something good for her. people sometimes need a reality check and if she gets one from time to time she'll become a better friend. it might be something she could think about and change.
i am sorry but life is hectic and i just do not have the time to be with you as friends any longer i dont mean to hurt you please no hard feelings
first u should think about ur frnd and then of your heart don't hurt any loving ones if she is very sensitive than you should be very care full.but you have to say yours fillings but how that's depends on you.OK
Maybe the only thing you can do is just slowly distance yourself from her. Stop taking her calls, don't call her, make excuses why you can't get together.....It might take a while, but I don't know what else you could do that would spare her feelings.
Oh My! this is interesting because I'm going through the exact same thing, i have a friend that I've simply outgrown. In the beginning of our relationship it seemed that we had a lot in common, but as time progressed I was proven wrong. the way I broke apart from this clingy friend without too much controversy is i told her that i was unfulfilled and needed to find myself, which required A LOT of time to myself, not too much going out and not too much phone conversation. This works! I understand shes sensitive so dont cut her off at once--wing her off. Trust me, it works.
Kat! I am that girl you are talking about!! I can't believe u would write about me like this =[ i thought we were friends!!!!
Tell her husband. Let him know that since you are all grown up and married now that circumstances have changes. Tell him that you no longer have time to maintain a friendship with him and his wife because marriage has put a gap between the friendship you had when you were single. You want to devote your time to you family and don't see where your future plans have room for them in it any more. If he doesn't understand then just it go. You really do not need to give them any more of an explanation than that.

How can I convince my best friend to break up with her GF?

They are just not good for eachother, I have tryed telling her she should just leave her, infact all her friends tell her, eben her co-workers tell her. Her gf is 17 but acts like she is 12, and she knows it. Also alot of people hate her for acting like a little kid all the time (the gf not my friend). She acts like she doesn't care about anything and whenever you try to talk to her about anything she seems to not care, she even does this to my bestfriend who she is dating.





I know my bestfriend should just leave her, but how can make that 100% clear. I have told her to her face and she is like well, I don't want to break up with her, and yet she knows that they are not going to last. OMG so annoying!!!!!How can I convince my best friend to break up with her GF?
okay thats not your problem you already did your part and told her.but if she doesnt want to break up with her then you should just leave her be..if your really her true friend just let her be she will learn her own lesson one way or anotherHow can I convince my best friend to break up with her GF?
Just shoot her.

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you would sound controlling just let them break up when they get tired of each other if her girlfriend around don't hang out with her. you cant just tell someone to break up with their spouse and except them to do it. your friend sees past her girlfriend being annoying she dont care about that.
Why are you worried about this?


It's what your best friend wants and obviously she doesn't WANT to break up with her. I think you should just stay out of it hun.

How do I get my friend to break up with her boyfriend (Read first!!!)?

Okay, that sounds mean, but hear me out.





1. She's not allowed to date him


2. He did something bad, and she thinks he quit, but no one else does...


3. He's starting to get her in trouble with her parents because of #2


4. They hardly talk, and when they do it's through texting...


5. They're 14...





I've tried talking to her, but she thinks he's ';changed...'; I don't think he did...She's getting into a lot of trouble now because her parents found out about what he did and she's constantly upset...





I know you all will say I'm mean for trying to break them up, but she's my best friend...Help?How do I get my friend to break up with her boyfriend (Read first!!!)?
Tough situation. You can't break up people. She has to make her own decisions. All you *should* do is let her know you don't think he's right for her and you don't approve of the situations he's putting you in. Then you can either:





Let her know you'll be there for her when she's ready to leave him but you can't be there to watch her go down





or





Be there for here during the relationship until (hopefully) it crashes and burns





But don't try to break them up, just be supportive of HER and not the relationship.How do I get my friend to break up with her boyfriend (Read first!!!)?
look, tell that girl that she needds to go straite up to him and tell him, ';sorry. but its over'; and tell him why.
dont meddle into peoples relationships... things happen for a reason... she'll just have to find out things the hard way
why not introduce her to someone better
What you are doing is so not mean. You are trying to do the best for your friend. I like that one girls idea of introducing her to someone better. It would open her eyes to what her relationship with this guy doing the bad things compared to what she could have with the good guy.
That is life. What she wants to do is her business even if she is your best friend. The best you can do is watch over her, guide her, give her advice, give her support and always be there when she needs you.





She needs to learn this lesson the hard way. Sometimes there are lessons that they should go through. It is their choice and they will have no one to blame but themselves.





I know it must be difficult for you to just stand there and watch but that is how things must be. Do you want her to resent you for destroying something she considers important to her? If she finds out she will never understand why you did this to her.





Think it over. ^_^
wow. your in a hard position right now becasue ovbiously she really likes him, enough to not care what he does. maybe she only likes him for his looks... try to get it through her head that hes not the guy shes looking for. or you can try getting her to like someone else. and if that doesnt work than you can.... um... well thers nothing else u can do
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  • Should i break up with my friend for ever!?

    so my friend is really mean to me, but i cant let her go because i love her and i dont have that many friends, so i feel like i would be left lonely, its like a self-esteem problem. right now we are in a fight and dont talk to each other, she was really mean and rude when she told me she wanted to end things but her birthday is coming up and a friend told me i should send her a card or something but im not sure if i should, i feel that i shouldnt because she is really mean and friends shouldnt be like that to each other. so what do i do? how can i let her go 4ever?Should i break up with my friend for ever!?
    Get some guts and do the right thing.Should i break up with my friend for ever!?
    she is being mean and rude to you.. that doesnt say 'friends' to me!


    i no how u feel.. im confuzed and unsure of who my friends are at the moment too...


    either try make it up with her.. say sorry.. even if not u fault and see if she still wants to be friends! if not.. let her go!
    she is not a friend if she was really mean and rude when she told me she wanted to end things. i think she is a ***** (no offense) and you should find a another friend (im not trying to be a ***** i sound like that sometimes).
    Send her a card asking to talk to her and saying happy birthday. Then tell her you don't like the way she treats you and if she wants to stay friends with you she has to change that.
    if she's rude to you, don't hang around her... it doesn't matter if you don't have that many friends.If she's rude than she's actually not truly your friend...sorry but I think You shouldn't be friends anymore
    well... be the better person get her a small birthday card/present and tell how you feel, if that doesn't work do what your heart tells you. Say good bye for a little while, ( 4- 8 ) weeks. or until she apologizes to you.
    i suggest before you break away you try to make new friends and as you get closer to them slowly tare away from her
    YEa um i think so cuz no one likes to get disrespected. I think someone better will come along for you

    How to break up with a friend?

    My 'friend' is a nice person, but she can be overbearing and insane. She is often rude and doesn't realize she is being rude. She thinks she is being funny. She criticizes me for some things I do (like my love for country music, black people like country too!) She blows up my cell often calling 10+ times a day, she leaves me tons of messages on my facebook, even when I don't answer for days, she assumes she's more important than anything else, she insists i ditch my boyfriend simply because he is in jail (why would i do that?) she is unaccepting of my new friends (who are nice people) and she verbally attacks our mutual friends if they don't think and believe the exact same thing she does. I hate hanging out with her. She seriously does kill my spirit. She doesn't listen to me, she hears what she wants to hear. How exactly do I get rid of her? We've been friends nearly 4 years and i've always felt like this. Thanks!How to break up with a friend?
    It hard to imagine that you been friends for 4 yearss, I mean you 2 are absolutely different people and those don't become friends in the first place. Ussualy when I have a friend that is different we don't see eachover much and it's ok, or if there someone I don't like I just ignore him/her for a while and they get the point, but according to what you wrote she don't get it. Then it will be hard. Did you tryed ignoring her? Don't answer her calls and say you buse when she want to go out. Or talk with her directly but try not to hurt her feelings.How to break up with a friend?
    well, stop calling her. stop talking to her. don't reply to her.





    if she doesn't want to change and be nice then move on.
    Either tell her about it,


    or back away from the friendship.





    But you have '; mutual friends ';,


    so that will be hard to do.
    i think you should talk to her first... tell her everything you hate about her..


    and if she didn't listen to you tell her that it's better if you two shouldn't be friends anymore(the reason is:you two don't fit at each other)
    Well tells look at this from another stand point shall we............





    Ahh who am I kidding .Grab your things and... RUUUNNNN!!!!


    In fact leave em there ! Just RUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! : )LOL!jk!
    At least try and talk with her first, and give her a chance to change her ways... if not.. then you willl just have to avoid her..then maybe she will get the hint..