How do I break up with my friend?

I have a friend who (for very good reasons) I no longer want to be friends with, how do I tell her? Should I just ignore her, or should I talk with her about what the problems in our friendship are?





My reasons are because I feel very very used by her and under appreciated by her. Whenever we go anywhere I pay for everything because she never has any money, and I understand that she is not as financaily well off as I am, but she never once has even thanked me for paying for things. This has been going on for about 6 years now. I have many more reasons too





What should I do? If I should 'break up' with her, how should I do it? I dont want to be mean to her about it.How do I break up with my friend?
Well first off... all relationships evolve. To stay on top of any relationship... they require routine ';re-defining';. That way everyone stays on the same page. You don't give your ages... but, sometimes people mature faster, develop more insight, ...than their peers. Others have the propensity and insensitivity to be come dependent on others... and take advantage of their generosity. I am very guilty of this myself. (I have loaned significant sums of money to others... I have never gotten back as agreed to).





There might be a bit of friendly ';care-taking'; on your part that has passively evolved your girlfriend's notion that... part of your establish friendship role... is to ';pick up the tab';. Sounds like she will have to re-learn a new role. Remember, this is the part of routinely ';re-defining'; relationships I mentioned earlier.





I would tell her... ';In the course of our doing things together... I have always enjoyed sharing my financial resources with you. Unfortunately, the holiday season has taxed my financial situation. I have to give you fair warning... I no longer have the option of routinely covering things I have in the past. Bottom-line...we have to go Dutch. I know there are times we might have to be independent of each other to afford what might be important to ';either of us'; at the time. Then make some light-hearted comments like... ';even generosity has a price...lets go buy a lottery ticket!';





I think that you can perserve her ego with the above...yet, still make all the important points. I don't know if you are high school students or young adults. It still doesnt matter... this should be a motivator for her to take some personal responsibility...but, do not hold your breath! This is probably an ingrained personality flaw that she will become angry before she would take responsibility (that will be diagnostic if she does).





If she can't handle that or wants to exploit you over it... then, you are clearly not loosing a thing. I wouldn't even waste my time with the laundry list of how she has taken advantage of you and exploited your generosity. Just acknowledge what she says and respond with... it sounds like you are wanting some space...then leave quietly.





Remember many relationships do not last...especially ones that are lop-sided, not mutual or non-reciprocating in nature. They usually only last about 4 to 5 years max... before they burnout. This one is 6 years old. This is not a failure...just a reality.





Good Luck! Now I am curious how it will turn out!How do I break up with my friend?
Turn the table around, if she wants to go out, just tell her that you are short on cash, economy is bad, you need to tighten your belt. Go out and do something that doesn't require money. Like go for a walk, pack a lunch on the way; window shopping; jogging; biking; cook dinner at home for each other and just imply to take turns; etc...you get the picture.





Friendship shouldn't be just based on money, there are other things to do that doesn't involve money....lots.
Tell her what you don't like about her. Tell her that you want to save your friendship but you are tired of being an ATM. You want to be a BFF.